The First 6 Weeks

Rocky

March 18, 2012

It’s been over a month since Roman and Natalia have arrived in America. Don and I have had a major change in our lives. It seems non-stop. Each moment of the day is filled for me… spending time with the kids, or with doing things that I have to do. We sit together at the table (most days) to study English or review math problems. Our laundry loads seem to have tripled, grocery shopping is now occurring every few days (they are eating us out of house and home), and the taxi schedule is very busy….soccer, church, ice-skating, doctor’s visits, etc. We have no clothes from last season, so we went and shopped  ‘til we dropped today. What a joy to shop with my new daughter. I love how we look at things together and find nice things for her to wear. Natalia has a great fashion sense and it is fun finding things for her that she likes.

Natalia loves to play with Milla across the street, and with our neighbor, Alina.  She is a kind friend and is thoughtful with the other children. She is always willing to share the things she has with others. There are 3 boys in the neighborhood around Roman’s age, so he has friends to play sports with. He is naturally good at any sport that he tries.

This week we enjoyed seeing our friend Michael Cefalo act in the play, Peter Pan. We also visited Uncle Don and Aunt Judy at the Friday night  fish dinner at their church. Natalia started 5^th grade and rode a school bus for the first time. Here is a picture of Natalia going off to start school and a video of her enjoying Kait's dance class.

The First Week Home

Rocky

 The first week at home with these guys was delightful…I .can’t think of any other word to describe it.

They are such a joy to be around…..so  happy just to have the little things…a shower with shampoo they like, .fresh eggs in the morning, cheese, bananas, grapes… all things they did not have access to at the orphanage.  Most of all, the hugs don’t stop coming. It is great. They seem to be so happy to know that they are secure. They now have a mother and father who love and care for them (we have lots of years of hugs to make up for.)

I am so surprised at how busy I am. I don’t remember being this busy with Michael and John. Maybe it’s because there are so many things to do at first. We are going non-stop with doctor’s appointments, English and math lessons, shopping for basic things like pajamas, boots, etc, etc.

I feel so bad that I have not been able to answer all the emails from friends asking how things are going.  I am trying to put all of the work that has piled up on my desk for the last few months out of my mind. What could be more important that making sure these kids get off to the right start in their new home? I’m trying to establish some routines (neatness) and good habits. The best time to do that is the first month they are home. I keep telling myself that I will catch up in the office later. I hope that is the case.

Fun with David at Aunt Judy and Uncle Don's House

This week we had homeschool every day. We also went to the doctor's for immunizations, visited the Y and the kids swam in the indoor pool, visited Aunt Judy and Uncle Don's house for a Valentine's party, had dinner with John and Kait, Roman played soccer with a boy's team and loved it, Natalia played with Mila across the street. They also saw their friend, Philipe, and played soccer outdoors. The kids had a great time this week and so did I.

They are Home

Don...


It is finally over, or maybe just beginning. The kids arrived with Rocky on Thursday night and they now live in America. I have to include a great photo of the welcoming committee.

Uncle Don and Aunt Judy

They let him out of the home just for the night

He's not really in any kind of home. That was a joke. How many people would go to the lengths that he and his wife did? Not many. There was another couple that joined in later. They had planned on decorating the house but we beat them home.

We beat them home.

Welcome Home from Brad and Debbie

Welcome Home

Thursday Feb 9th (Home)

Going Home for Good!!

February 9, 2012

 Rocky

 All of our paperwork was done yesterday and I am headed home early today. We had to wake up this morning at 3 am to catch our flight. Our driver, Jania,  is unemployed and now works nights trying to earn some extra money for his family. As he wisked us out of the city of Kyiv, in the dark wee hours of the morning, we were pulled over by the police. Jania said that this is a common practice here at this time of night. Anyone who is driving around at 3 in the morning, is likely to be up to no good. I felt bad for the police who were standing around in sub zero temperatures performing this patrol.

 During our trip to the airport we also saw many girls dressed up in coats and high heeled boots trying to hitch a ride. I felt awful that they were also out late at night, in below zero weather, trying to earn some money. The kids and I pray for these people of Ukraine every night and hope that they will have a better life in the future. It seems to me that the corruption there has stifled the economy and is hampering progress.

I’m now flying on a Lufthansa jumbo jet at 36,000 feet…on my way home with my new daughter and son. Before coming back to Ukraine to pick them up, I have to admit that I had a few thoughts about going through the process of raising two children again. Having kids is great, but being a parent…well, you definitely have to make some sacrifices. However, after spending the last two weeks with these children while here in Ukraine, I have to say that I am really happy they are with me and I am getting more out of this experience than they are.

It is heartwarming to see the love and compassion they have inside… coming out, day by day.  As they feel loved by parents and become more self-confident, the positive qualities they possess have really shined here in Ukraine.  There were many instances where they showed kindness and an appreciation for others around them.  I was surprised when they began to console the friends they were leaving behind at the orphanage …children who currently have no families. It was touching. Roman and Natasha wrote great thank you letters to the people who worked in Ukraine to make their adoption possible. And during our visit to the Embassy, there was a family from Texas that had two toddlers with Downs (they are adopting them, God bless them, I don’t know how they can do it). The toddlers were cranky and fussy while they had to wait for over an hour on their paperwork. Natalia went over to the children and kept them entertained. By coincidence, this family was on the flight with us to Munich. Roman offered to carry their bags and Natalia entertained the babies again during the waiting periods. It was very nice to see that at 12 and14 years of age, they were thinking of others. I feel so blessed that God has given me the opportunity to improve their lives and to give me two more children to love. I have to tell you that every step of this long process has been worth it and it has made me a better person. I know they will be a wonderful addition to the already great kids we have. I encourage anyone thinking of going through this journey to take the first step.

While we were at the Embassy, we were invited to a very rare meeting with the American Ambassador, John Taft. I’ve never met an Ambassador before, so it was fun. He spoke with us and a few other families and it was nice for the kids to meet him.

The way God works:

Don...


My wife and our new children arrive tomorrow night in Pittsburgh. I am sitting here in my hotel room in Calgary (yes I have a job), and pondering all that has happened to this point. Honestly, if you would have told me even eight months ago that my wife and I would be adopting two kids from Ukraine, my response would be "I don't think so".


I am almost 55 years old. I have eight grand-kids. I can pretty much do what I want, go where I want, be what I want and not have to look over my shoulder. Why in the world would I get myself into something like this?


It came to Rocky and I as an idea. Then we became curious. Then we looked into it. Then we became educated about the plight of these children. Then we inquired about hosting. Then we hosted. Then we fell in love with two perfect little strangers. Now we are parents all over again. We couldn't be happier.

Saying goodbye to the director of the orphanage

It is amazing how God works isn't it?

Coming Into the Final Stretch

Rocky

February 7, 2012

We went to the American Embassy today. We are only a few days away from making it home.  The Embassy would not accept our passport photos because the ears weren’t showing in the photo…it has to be a face forward shot and Natalia’s chin was turned to the left. I don’t know how the passport photo office messed this one up, but it cost us a day…We had to go and re-take the photos and so we missed our doctor’s appointment. We are going to try to get the medical exams tomorrow.

I can’t wait to get home. I have been here way too long and I am starting to go crazy.

We met our translator, Alla, for the last time today and she gave us some paperwork that we needed. The children wrote her a thank you note. Natalia thanked her for all of her work to help them have a family. Roman said that because of her hard work, they now have a family. “Without Alla”, he wrote, “they wouldn’t have any parents”.  It was very touching and brought tears to our eyes. We hope that she can come and visit with us in the U.S. sometime. We gave her some money for all of her extra hard work. She said that she is saving up to buy a dishwasher someday.

Sorry, I haven’t posted any photos. I am having trouble loading my photos from my iphone.

We arrive in Kiev-the last leg of the trip

Rocky

Everything went well in Chernigivka. All of Roman and Natalia’s friends came to the school entrance to say goodbye. They were happy that all of their friends were there to see them off.  I felt bad for the children who they were leaving behind. I’m sure they were all hoping it was themselves who found a new family and were headed to America. It was very touching. Roman wanted to take a photo with Rosa and as they posed together (holding hands) she started to cry. I felt bad for her.  I know that she will be very lonely without him there.  I know she has been in the back of Roman’s mind for the last few days.

These children are so good (I hope it lasts). I keep hearing the words Alex (the school director) said to me as we were leaving, “you have good children, you have good, good children”.  “Yes”, I said, “I know. They are very good”. They have been wonderful and have been very helpful in our travels. Roman is like the little man in the family here…carrying the heavy bags, looking out for his sister, etc. It’s been an incredible experience to be their mother and I am thankful that God has given me all the 4 children that I now have. I feel very blessed.

We had a somber ride from the orphanage to the train station, but once we got on the train, it was very exciting for the children. We had our own sleeping car and the train ride was fun….freezing cold, but fun. Ukraine is having a deep freeze and they told me it was -27 C. Yikes!! It is so cold, that your nose hurts when you breathe. My heart aches for the many stray dogs that roam around Ukraine. I don’t know how they survive. Everyone here saves their table scraps for these dogs, so I  now find myself putting our leftovers in plastic bags for them.

The last five days I have spent here with the children have been great.  Although I can see a slight sadness in Roman that he left behind his girlfriend (he doodled a heart on his notebook with her name), they are both so happy to have a new family and to be headed to America. There has been a lot of joy in their hearts and  I have gotten some really good hugs and it’s great.

One of the highlights of our trip has been our taxi driver, Sergei. We had some bad taxi drivers here at first. When we found a good one, we got his name and number and so we call him whenever we need a ride. The kids love to see a familiar face when we go somewhere. He even came in the grocery store and helped us with the bags on the first day we were here (and only charged $15 for the ride-I was very grateful that he waited for us to grocery shop and he got a good tip from me).

Our apartment is located near the National Opera House and is very nice. Today we visited a Russian Orthodox Church (St Vladimir). It is very, very old and it was gorgeous....lot’s of gold everywhere and every wall (and ceiling) was hand painted. It reminded me of the Sistine Chapel.  This afternoon we are going to the National Marionette Theater to see a show.

Our translator expects our passports to be printed tomorrow so we can have our visit at the Consulate and go to the American Embassy on Tuesday.  If all goes well, we can leave here Thursday or Friday.

More later…

Happiness in Dr Zhivago Land-The Kids Are Now PART OF OUR FAMILY!

January 31, 2012

Rocky


Happiness in Dr Zhivago Land



When I was litte, the movie Dr. Zhivago came out. The story was set in Russia and I heard everyone say how beautiful the scenery and music was. When I heard that my parents were going to the movie, I asked them if I could go, too. I got a big fat "No".( I didn't know that there was some adult content...oh, well, I never did see that movie, but now I feel like I'm starring in it)

The scenery over Ukraine was breathtaking..there was no snow in Germany, but as soon as we hit the Ukraine border, it was barren and snow covered, just like you would picture in a Russian movie set in the wintertime. All these people are walking around with long furry coats and furry hats and boots..nothing like you would see here in the states. I felt like I was starring in the Dr. Zhivago Movie. It is just how you would picture it this time of year...bleak, snow covered, barren and cold. No one talks to you, they just look unhappy and keep walking.



I almost had a heart attack today because Alla was arguing with the girl at the birth certificate office in Zaporazhe. It seemed that someone had made a mistake in the old court order and forgot to mention that the father's rights had been terminated for Natalia. The girl at the court office told us to submit a request for new paperwork and come back in three days..no guarantee it could get straightened out by then either!! I’m so thankful for Alla…Alla worked her magic today to get what we needed…. we ran around town getting documentation and got the OFFICIAL REVISED BIRTH CERTIFICATES WHICH NOW SAY WE ARE THE PARENTS OF ROMAN AND NATALIA!! We have two new children and we have two new members of our family. I can't really believe this is happening and I feel like I'm in a movie. But it really sunk in when I saw them and they gave me big hugs today. I'm sorry Don missed it, but he will get that same great feeling when we all see each other at the airport next week.



I braced myself for this upcoming trip because I heard it was 0 degrees here! Yikes! That is COLD! No wonder they wear these fur hats! You freeze your "dupa" off (as they call it here. Hey, I didn't know that was a real word in a foreign language, did you?). Well, I left home at noon on Sunday and arrived at 6pm here today...today is TUESDAY! .I flew to DC, Frankfurt, Kiev and then took 10 hour train trip to Zaporazhe, waited on paperwork at the birth certificate office, then drove all over town getting even more paperwork…. then I had a 2 hour car ride to Chernigivka with huge, deep potholes every square inch of the way (I thought the car wheels were going to fall off). Whew! I can't sleep on a plane, so I am exhausted. I think I slept 7 hours in the last two days. I started getting a little shaky, so I am going to be short and go to sleep now, a happy lady. I hope I wasn't too tired and that this all makes sense.

Das Vedana...see you later.

The final trip (we hope)!

Don...

Just a quick update. Rocky departs Sunday to bring Roman and Natalia home. Can't wait. They should be here by the 11th of February. I am planning a welcoming committee at the airport and then off to a restaurant for the celebration. It could be as many as 20 people coming to greet them. Dinner is on me.

Please pray for Rocky's safe travels. I was hoping to there when the kids said goodbye to the orphanage.

Today Made It All Worthwhile

Rocky….

Well, as you all know, we have gone through a lot to make it to this day….today made it all worthwhile.

After a very extensive procedure (150 pages of documents and the judge read every one of them - AND they were also translated verbally to us) we were proclaimed as the parents of Roman and Natalia. The children now have a family…they now have parents who will love and care for them. It was a very touching moment for everyone there.  A total of 8 people were overseeing the proceedings. They were all very nice to us…the judge, court reporter (no court reporting here, she just used a recording device on the computer), prosecutor, the attorney for the orphanage, assessors, etc.

Our children are grown and gone from our house…. It’s strange to feel once again that I need to be a responsible parent:). I will try to avoid the small mistakes I made the first time around.  My children are really great kids, but anyone who already has grown children can relate to tweaking it a bit.

So now we have to wait the obligatory 10 business day waiting period. We are flying to Munich tomorrow and home on Wednesday.  I will be coming back at the end of January to bring the kids home. We are so thankful to God for bringing these children into our lives, and to all the people who worked so hard for us to make this happen…New Horizons for Children (for the orphan hosting program), Tonya Boggs (our facilitator in US), Nastya (our facilitator in Ukraine) and Alla who was here working with us these last few weeks. What a great group of people to have on our side.

We have been truly touched during our visit here in Ukraine. The children here at the orphanage are all so precious, and the people we have met in Ukraine have been so good to us.

I wish I could take them all back with me to the US and let them enjoy the life we have. Ukraine is making progress since obtaining its independence, but it has a long way to go. It is not an easy place to live…when the judge asked the children if they wanted to be adopted, Roman said, “Yes, yes, what we had in America was 100 times better than anything we have here in Ukraine.” I was a little embarrassed, because everyone knew it was true. We really have it made in the US and we don’t even know it…. I will try to remember this every day, and be thankful for what we have…and I will try to raise these children to appreciate that fact. I feel so blessed that it makes me want to cry…really… I am getting tears in my eyes just typing this. We are all so blessed and we tend to focus on the unimportant, trivial things in life. I have to try and change that…. I once heard that if you think of what you HAVE in life, instead of what you DON’T HAVE, your life will change….I truly believe that. I’m going to sleep tonight feeling so blessed.

Some details on the Big Day.

Don...


I thought that instead of telling the story in words, I would let the pictures do most of the storytelling.

Walking to court

 Don't say anything negative about the statue on the way in. Some people here look at Lenin very favorably

Lenin

I felt kind of like I was going to see the Wizard Of OZ

Steps to the Judge's office

Minutes following the decision

All smiles

Welcome Roman James and Natalia Marie

Moments later outside the courthouse

A Coke at the restaurant

This is a rare treat for these once orphaned kids. Their new mom told them not to get used to it because they would be drinking healthy things in their new home. I know this woman. I am certain that she meant it.

I will miss the girls at the restaurant. They always have a smile

They told me that if they had known I was going to take their picture they would have put on some make-up. I said that they didn't have to worry, I was just going to use it on the internet...they don't speak English.

Alla with the kids

This is Alla, our facilitator with Roman and Natalia . She possesses just about the best work ethic I have ever seen. She worked tirelessly for this adoption and we have become good friends. We are grateful that God sent her to us.

We said goodby to the kids tonight. Roman asked if we could stay a few more days. We told him that we could not. It is remarkable how he keeps his emotions inside. He does this much better than I do. When you have been through what they have experienced at such an early age, I guess you would have to develop some kind of emotional defense. I did not have the heart to tell him that I could not return with Rocky to pick them up in February.

The next time I see them it will be sometime in February at the Pittsburgh airport.

I can't wait!!!

Welcome to the family

Don...

This photo was taken moments after the decision by the judge. 

Moments following the decision

As of 1:30 pm Ukraine time, there is an addition to the family. Welcome to Roman James and Natalia Marie. Rocky and I will follow-up with the details later today. This is just a quick post for those of you who are following the blog.

Seems like I've been here before.

Don...


We made it. We are back in our little bungalow in Ukraine.


We arrived at 11pm Ukraine time. That would be 5pm back home and 28 hours since we left the driveway. The trip was uneventful, up until we got to Munich, but after that, we have a few more memories. The plane from Munich to Donetsk was delayed due to some type of failure on the aircraft. They scrapped that plane and found another. We left one and a half hours late from Munich. However, we were glad to be on the plane. Now the real fun begins. As the plane was approaching the runway to land, it pulled up and kept right on going past the runway. Everyone looked at each other wondering. The pilot comes on the loud speaker and proceeds to explain that that a warning light came on that indicated possible break failure. Not to be worried he said. The runway was extra long. I guess that's why the little truck with the flashing lights pulled out in front of the plane just before we landed.


So we made it. We proceeded to the car for a four hour drive on the worse roads that I've been on since deer hunting in the Adirondacks. The driver and I made a joke that a tank or a helicopter would be more appropriate for the trip. He thought a tank the better choice because it would use less gas. The best part of the ride was that even though the driver lived in the small town this orphanage is located in, the road system is so bad, he didn't know how to get here. We made at least four u-turns, stopped and asked for directions, and just as many times, he was often told to just "go that way".


Speaking of the driver. I was hoping to see the same one that we had last time we were here. However, our facilitator thought since we would be driving on roads that were really out in the middle of nowhere, that a six foot six, ex-military guy who was also a retired cop with a "get out of jail free" card would be a better choice.


Anyway, we made it. The kids should be knocking on our door fairly early, so I will be signing off. We go before the judge at noon and then we hope to have a big party in the room shortly thereafter. Since I slept all the way from Washington Dulles to Munich, and Rocky slept in the car, sleeping tonight will not be easy.


Rocky and I will post the results of the court proceedings with photos tomorrow afternoon. Should be around 8am EST back home.

Really getting Excited!

Don...


We are just a couple days from traveling back to Ukraine. When we left there just two weeks ago, I was dreading the return trip. Now, I can't wait. We are about to see the kids again and things are falling back into perspective for us. I am so looking forward to seeing them. This time, it is likely to happen. A court date, and a judge telling us that they will soon be part of our new family.


I have heard so many people, people at work, and others we share the story with, say that we are somehow special people for adopting Roman and Natalia. It's funny in a way, because we don't feel special. We both feel like the kids are the special ones. Rocky and I are only becoming part of something that was always supposed to be. We are made to feel like heroes by so many people that hear the story. There is a part of me that loves to hear that, but there is also a part of me that is sick of hearing it.


The material things that I so valued have become much less important in my life. After seeing the plight of children at the orphanage, I feel ashamed for being so self centered. I tend to look at spending money very differently. Rocky and I could easily spend a couple hundred dollars a month on just going out to eat at restaurants. Now I see that money as the ability to host a child or two. The ability to bring hope to an otherwise hopeless life.


I have asked God tonight, to help me never be as I was, before this all started.

Just got the Word!

Don...


We just got the word today that the necessary paperwork has been approved. We wasted no time in making our flight for the eagerly awaited court date.


I can't help but wonder what will be going through Roman and Natalia's mind when they find out that we are returning so soon. We will be there next week. My wife and I had a long disscussion about the trip, knowing what we know now, we have decided to return the states immediatley following the court date. There is no way either of us could stay there again for another three weeks. I would love to stay to be on that
final flight when the kids finally come home. After all, that's what this is all about.


Our plans are to have Rocky return after the ten day mandatory period in which the kids have to remain in Ukraine following the proceedings. She will have to return and complete more paperwork before the Roman and Natalia can come to America for good. I will sadly stay in the states, work of course, and prepare the welcoming committee.


More news as things get closer. We are both very excited.

You Only Have 6 Weeks Left to Live

Rocky

Enjoy the little things in life, for someday you may realize they were the big things.

 January 2, 2012

Your doctor calls you into the office to talk. The results of your lab test are in. You have approximately 6 weeks to live. He tells you to go home and get your affairs in order…what is going through your mind? I still want to live…I have so much more to do..I don’t want to leave my family. What is not going through your mind; I wish I would have spent more time at the office, I should have watched more TV, I wish I had a bigger car, house, etc.

We all get into our routines. We get into our comfort zones and don’t want to leave them. It is too comfortable there…we are used to it and change is uncomfortable. However, if you look back on some of the best times of your life, what was happening to you? More than likely, something new or different was taking place in your life. It may have been the day you learned to ride a bicycle, fell in love, your wedding day, or the day your child was born. It may have been during a trip to a place you had never visited before, or to a seaside destination that gave you renewal and peace of mind. All of these experiences take you out of your box. They all give you a new and fresh outlook on life and make you feel whole again.

 If you are like most of us and are stuck in your box… going through the same routine every day, day after day… focused on our own little world,  I highly recommend you do something new to break out of it and start enjoying your life...before it is over…the bigger the change the better. What have you always dreamed of doing? What would you love to do?  I’m not just talking about taking a vacation. I’m talking about making a big difference in your life…breaking out of your box. Do something.  It will give you clarity.

Traveling half way around the world and living in an orphanage with 132 children in a former communist country has changed my life. It has given me a new clarity about what is important and what is meaningful. It diminishes many of the things that I considered important in the past and makes them seem very trivial. It gives me an appreciation for the little things in life …the little simple things. We think we are poor if we don’t have 124 cable channels or the newest electronic gadget that our friends have…we are clueless that we are rich…so rich, that half the world can only dream of the things that we take for granted and enjoy every day.  Mother Teresa said that the poorest people she ever met were the ones who had no one to love and care for them. Do you have someone who loves you and cares about you?....consider yourself rich.

Going Back Home

December 30, 2011

Rocky-

On the way back home…

Well, lucky us…we are in the process of adopting in Ukraine just as they are making all these changes to the process…After two agonizing days, we did not receive the final document from Kyiv that the Minister had to sign, so we could not have our hearing. I guess he had so many more important things to do than make two orphans happy during the Christmas Season.  Don and I decided to come home and not return until this final required document is signed by the Minister of Sports and a court date is definite.

 This was really hard on us and very hard on the kids. It was painful to see their faces and explain to them that the paperwork had not been signed and that we couldn’t go to the judge on the day that we had hoped for.  Alex knelt down in front of them while they were on the couch and carefully explained it to them. He was so great. I have so much admiration for that man.  He really cares about the well-being of these kids. But, no matter how many people were trying to make things happen, it just couldn’t be done. We hope to be returning for the hearing on January 16^th.

On a more positive note, I will kiss my front door when I get home. I love the comforts we have and won’t take them for granted anymore. I will have a new perspective as I wash clothes in the washing machine and brush my teeth with tap water.  I miss the kids already, but am telling myself that I will see them again soon.